In last week’s post we talked about the challenge of setting goals when you’re in the midst of big life changes. We talked about the SMART model of goal setting and why this linear model can actually paralyze your progress when you’re responding to the callings of your soul. I suggested that the one thing that you can extract from the SMART goal setting model which will assist your life change is to examine whether the changes you desire are relevant to your life’s vision and values. But even your values and life vision may shift in the process of you making changes to excavate your true nature. While it’s useful to examine what you value and to refine your vision as you go, it’s counter productive to get too attached to the vision that you have right now or the values that you think you hold true. You’re on a path of self discovery and part of the discovery process is to allow yourself to become aware of what you may be holding on to that really isn’t yours.
If your life is working for you then the rest of what I have to say is probably not going to interest you much. This is for the ones of you who are in the midst of some changes because you have had a wake up call or two. You probably know what they are, but just in case you’re not sure just look at what you’re struggling with right now that is creating a desire for a change … relationship stagnation, career crisis, health issues, and whatever is making you yearn for more, easier or better from your life.
You have inner coordinates for opening up to your life in a new way. This new way of being with yourself is actually the change you seek. Ultimately this new, more authentic way of being, leads you to sit back and enjoy the ride of your life without feeling like you need to second guess your every move. It’s about the freedom to be a more accurate expression of yourself, regardless of how you were raised, what your family says and what the voices in your head say about how you should be. It’s not about the career or the relationship. And your health, well that’s in great part, a reflection of what’s going on inside. Your desire for change is the desire to know you and be you in all your uniqueness and glory. A great starting point for this type of self discovery is to understand and release all the influences which keep you from being who you really are. These influences are known in Human Design as conditioning.
Be Who You Are … Not Who You Think You Are
A key to understanding how you have been conditioned to not be fully who you are is to look at your Human Design chart. When you look at a copy of your Human Design Chart you see that there are areas in your chart that are colored in and areas that are white. Let’s take a look at some typical examples of conditioning which keep you from being who you really are.
The colored in areas in the chart are the areas where you consistently experience the energies and themes which they represent. The white areas are where you have an unlimited potential to experience those energies and themes. But these areas also indicate where you are being influenced or conditioned by others around you. This conditioning process is unavoidable. It’s actually desirable when you’re aligned with your true nature. It’s how you get information, energy and support from people around you which moves you forward in your life. But if you’re not aware that you have these open (white) areas where you’re taking in other people’s information and energy then you tend to “think” that these things you experience (which aren’t really yours) are part of your identity. Can you see how this would throw you off track to living and expressing your truth? If not, bear with me here. Let’s look at an example from this Human Design chart to illustrate the point.
Undefined Will/Heart Center: Willpower & Proving Worth
The energy center circled in blue on this chart is known as the heart or will center. It is the center where you either have a fixed sense of will power and worth if it’s colored in, or you don’t if it’s white or undefined as it is here. When you experience conditioning forces through the undefined will center you typically think you have the willpower to carry through goals regardless of whether they are right for you or not. But somewhere in the middle of your efforts you will lose your motivation. Think about how many new years resolutions fizzle out before February hits. That’s a classic example of people with an undefined will center thinking that they have the willpower to make a permanent change when they don’t. Changes aren’t meant to be made by sheer force of will. In fact for most people, lasting change depends very much on being able to wait and trust that the right people and opportunities will come along in the perfect time to assist you in exactly the way you need to be assisted.
The other thing that can happen when you’re not aware of the conditioning forces on your undefined will center is that you will tend to doubt your worth or the worth and value of those around you. This dynamic can look like low self esteem or perhaps even an over inflated ego. Sometimes you can fluctuate between the two, depending on who you’re around and how they value your presence. The next time you watch a cologne commercial, notice how the marketing is geared toward manipulating your sense of worth… “Buy this cologne so you will smell good and be worthy of the attraction of others.”
Most of the planet is not endowed with a consistent sense of willpower (defined will center), but most people think they have it. The result of acting on willpower that you don’t innately have is that you may not be able to follow through on the goals that you set for yourself, especially if you set them without the awareness of who you really are and what is truly correct for your life.
A Goal That You Can Set and Achieve
When you embark upon the self discovery process of cultivating awareness by exploring your Human Design, you begin the seven year process of deconditioning. This means that your experimentation with your strategy and inner decision making process will lead you into the awareness which helps you cultivate the most authentic expression of your life experience. And over the course of seven years, as you align and live more fully as yourself, your cells will reflect the chemistry that supports your optimal state of being.
So what if you set this one goal for yourself which will ultimately lead you to the deep changes you desire? … In seven years you can be living a life which expresses the truth of your soul’s deepest desires.
You’re invited to get started with a Human Design Reading.